Praying for God’s Will

Dear St. Jude. I don’t know why I am here praying for the same thing over and over again. Still worried and wondering why my friend left me. Please help me heal from the pain in my heart. Help me let things go if this is what God is teaching me. Please forgive me for all my sins. I don’t know what’s God’s plan is but please help me stop trying to control the situation I am in right now. Please just disregard my prayers if I am becoming stubborn. I don’t know why I still feel his energy around me even if I am not talking to him anymore. I have a feeling that he misses me too but he’s not acting upon it. I feel like he’s avoiding me. I didn’t want to hurt him at all. I am here as a loyal friend to him and I really care for him. I know you know what’s in my heart. All I think about is him day and night. I feel like I am committing a sin because I am loving him from a distance when I should not be loving him anymore. Please bless me and my friend better understanding, more patience and respect, and better communication. Please tell him to contact me because his absence is really hurting me. I don’t know why things just turned out from 1000 to 0 between us. Like from friends to strangers. Or maybe I was too naive to think that we were friends that’s why when he disappeared I was shocked. We didn’t even argue the last time we talked. I do not know if the jokes we were exchanging with each other offended him that’s why he disappeared on me. I really didn’t want to just throw our friendship away like that but he doesn’t value our friendship. Please help restore our friendship and allow us to build a healthy friendship and not some sort of inappropriate friendship. I care for him so much and value him as a person but he doesn’t seem to value me for doing this. Maybe because I invested so much on this friendship already. If this is God’s will for our friendship to end, I know I have to accept this and move on. Please help me move on and accept things that our friendship is over. Please give me a sign and let me know that he is not coming back anymore. I am so confused right now. I don’t know if he will still come back. It’s been a long time. Please talk to my heart. I’ve felt this pain many years ago and I can’t believe I am experiencing it again. I’m sorry for feeling this way. Please don’t let me wait that long if God doesn’t allow this friendship. I know we have a traumatic past and have our own relationships now that makes it difficult to maintain our friendship. But I really thought it’s not impossible to keep a healthy friendship with him. I just want to know the reason why it has to end. Or maybe I will never get the answers. I hope God will allow me to have an opportunity to talk to him one last time. It just feels like there’s so much misunderstandings that were never talked about and it’s so disappointing. Maybe with him disappearing from my life like that was the best for both of us. If God is also okay with us to continue to have each other in our lives, please help both of us. Please help us went pass this stage so we can have better understanding and better communication and better friendship. I know that what we are doing doesn’t have a future anymore because we will never be together again. That’s why I was hoping we can at least be good friends. But it seems like I will not get what I want. I am losing hope as days go by. It makes me feel that he will never come back anymore. Please reveal to me his true intentions and feelings. Please reveal to me God’s will. To go our separate ways or to continue to be present in each other’s lives. Please remove all the blockages, all evil, and curses in our friendship. If I have hurt someone unintentionally or intentionally please forgive me. Please hear my prayers. I’ve been waiting for so long. I am losing hope. Please grant the communication that I have been waiting for so long. I really value our friendship and didn’t want to throw it away that easy. I have lost so many close friends whom I thought will be there for me when I need them. I can only count with my five fingers people whom I have deep connections with. I opened my heart so much for this special friends of mine and invested my time and trust. I thought i was valued the same. I didn’t get anything in return and I made a huge mistake for not setting boundaries for myself. We are all grown adults now and life is too short to treat people this way. All I wanted was a meaningful connection and a friendship filled with trust and respect and support and happiness. Please restore my friendship with M. Help us make this friendship right. If it’s not God’s will for us to communicate again, please let me know in my heart that it’s done and there’s no hope on this friendship. Please give me a sign that it is over. That both of us will not communicate again. I don’t know what to think. I feel so stubborn and lost. Please help me. It really hurts to be ghosted. I don’t know what I did. I may not know the reasons why but I am trying my best to keep the faith that God knows what’s best for us. This is really tough to deal with all by myself that’s why I am surrendering this all to you. I am fervently praying for God’s will on this friendship. Please hear my prayers and everything that is in my heart. Please help restore our friendship if God wants him back in my life again and please keep my friend safe and healthy always. Please guide him and tell him to do every right thing in his life. Help him achieve his dreams but only if his dreams will be good for him. Please tell him that I miss him and will always love and care for him even though we are not talking to each other anymore. Amen.