My first love

Dear St. Jude, i am praying for this special friendship I have with my first love. I don’t know the reason why we still have each other’s presence in both of our lives. I cannot stop loving him and even if we are miles apart and are living our separate lives now loving someone else, settled, and married. I’m really sorry because I cannot stop loving him and it feels like I am committing a sin because of my feelings for him. Even before I got married, he has always been in my heart. When we parted ways decades ago, we never really talked about our feelings for each other that’s why our unresolved issues keep resurfacing. But I have already accepted and moved on from the pain I felt and I am genuinely happy for him for being settled now and married. I also love my husband even though we have moments and I don’t feel like he love me as much as I love him. I know it is wrong to keep thinking about my first love, that’s why I have accepted that we will never be together. But why do I still have this feelings for him. Why is it not going away like I’m an obsessed and crazy person. I am happy for him and his relationship now and I do not want to ruin it. I do not want to ruin anything that’s why I am here praying for my feelings. I miss him and I will always have love for him. I pray that our friendship will remain strong, pure, full of love and happiness, and most of all respect. Please take care of him and keep him safe and healthy always. Please help him in all his problems and help him make wise decisions. If we are meant to be together someday, I leave everything to God if this will happen. I do not want to ask for him to be mine again. I leave everything to God if it is His will. Right now, I just want our friendship to be pure and loving and strong as possible. Keep both of us strong to fight temptation and just be good friends. I pray that our trust and respect towards each other will deepen and we will have a beautiful friendship since we cannot be together. I hope we can keep a healthy and loving friendship that will last no matter the distance and time and have no boundaries. I really love and care for him. Every time I want to see him and I miss him I will always pray for him. Please forgive me is I am committing any sin for continuously caring and loving him from a distance. Please protect him always. Amen